The Cheesy 2023 AJM Family Christmas Letter
Dear Beloved Friends, Clients, and Accidental Email Recipients,
We’re back with yet another cheesy Christmas letter from the AJM family! Against popular demand, we’ve unleashed another installment of our annual letter because apparently, we just can’t stop ourselves from talking about, well, ourselves. We promise that Chat GPT only wrote a small portion and it’s quite easy to tell which parts (hint: the jokes that aren't funny).
2023 started off with what is becoming a heartwarming AJM tradition: petty theft. Our office was broken into and we found out (thanks to the security cameras) that while sacking the place, the thief didn't even take a moment to admire our fish tanks! We can confidently say that owing to their lack of interest in fish, the thief was, surprisingly, not a fish biologist. With the Calgary Police using that critical detail to substantially narrow down their suspect list, we’re confident they’ll soon crack the case.
One of the main themes at AJM in 2023 was ‘Office Pets’. Interestingly, despite dogs commonly being in the office, the number of UPS’s (that is, Unaccounted for Pee Spots) hasn’t changed from before dogs were around. We’re still scratching our heads trying to figure that one out, but we have our suspicions.
The AJM office menagerie continued to grow as we added frogs, a tortoise, more fish, snakes and more frogs to the office setting. There was an internal discussion to determine at what point we need to apply for a zoo license and have decided it's when we get our first 'big cat'...so likely sometime in 2024.
Related to our office situation, AJM is proud to announce that we’ve expanded into other lines of business. New business cards are being printed for staff that list the following ‘expanded’ products and services:
Environmental Consulting,
Software Development,
Kijiji Pet Sales, and
Tortoise Diapers.
All products and services have evolved from necessity and we’re particularly excited about the business opportunity for the tortoise diapers.
Despite all the nose to the grindstone slave driving hard work done at AJM in 2023, we did manage to have some fun. Highlights include downhill karting (no broken bones!), a Spoons Tournament of Champions (only minor broken bones!), the inaugural AJM Halloween costume contest (lots of bones, but none broken!), and a curling bonspiel at the employee Christmas party (seriously, how did no one break any bones??). We had fun…and some tears…but fun tears.
A highlight for many AJM’ers was our company reenactment of the classic 1991 movie City Slickers. Our twist was instead of chasing cows, we were chasing rattlesnakes in southern Alberta. Other than that, the plot of the team bonding event was remarkably similar to the movie. A big thank you to the Bar Diamond Guest Ranch for hosting us (and for all the extra dessert!).
As has become tradition at AJM, another year of the coveted AJ’Emmy Awards were given out. Despite HR strongly recommending the discontinuation of the 'Hottest in the Office' award, the Academy proceeded anyway. Thankfully, HR breathed a sigh of relief as the winner was Theodora (aka Teddy) who is a tortoise (read: not human). We think her heat lamp may have something to do with her ‘hotness’ in the office.
One other AJ’Emmy worth noting is the coveted “Employee of the Year” award. Although the winner was an upset (Charlie the labradoodle was on a multi-year winning streak), this AJ’Emmy is still yet to be won by a human. Congrats to Chester the chocolate lab (aka, Teddy's BFF) on the win. You are a shining example of what it means to be an AJM’er.
In all seriousness, 2023 was another great year for the AJM family. We were fortunate to work on amazing projects with amazing people (like you!) and are so grateful to be able to do the work that we do. Whether it was our significant others putting up with crazy field schedules, clients continuing to place their faith in us, or our coworkers supporting us through our toughest days, we are so grateful for the support.
We’re also honoured to have been able to contribute to causes that are near and dear to our hearts over the past year. As a group we donated an AJM record $38,656 to causes including the Calgary Foodbank, Nature Conservancy of Canada, Ronald McDonald House, Calgary Drop-In Centre, Alberta Chapter of the Wildlife Society, Hockey Helps the Homeless, Terry Fox Foundation, Thorpe Recovery Centre and the Mustard Seed. We’re so honoured to be able to make a difference.
As the curtains fall on this epistle, we wish you a joyous holiday season and a fantastic 2024. May your days be merry, your UPS spots be non-existent, and your tortoises rock the latest in diaper fashion!
Fondly avec formage,
The AJM Enviro Family
